College life…hehehe

1. On being Late

"Kab chalu hua?"

"Attendance ho gayakya??"

"Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar"

"Mein kya karu, Kumar bathroom mein ghusa hua tha"

"Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu......... bolna ....... kal kya

padaya tha sir ne"

"Kal se pakka class karunga"

"Ek page de na.......... abe pen bhi to de......."

"Kal proxy mara tha kya"

"Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai........"

2. During the lecture

"Yesss!!!! Sir.......The answer is

.......huuuummmmm.......aaaaaaaa............"

"No sir.....I know the answer ......sir...."

"Saala apne aapko Newtonsamajta hai"

"Abe lecture ko chod..... Anjali kya lag rahi hai aaj........" HE HE HE
 HE !!  )))

"Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha.......gadha......."

"mera assignment tere paas hai??"

"Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha cigarette pene chalte hain ."

"Heads, we go canteen , Tails, we go canteen now!!!"

"Boss class khatam hote hi chai chahiye......"

3. Lab

"Expt. 2 likha??"

"Idhar Karna kya hai??"

"Yeh bhai.....mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata........"

"Areee tu to bura maan gaya.......data dikha na........."

4. Unit Test

"Unit test???? ......Aree yaar...... "

"Kya...... abe unit test mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya
 hoga...."

"Boss..... hogaya......aur nahi ho sakta........jaan nahi de
 sakta......."

"Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya?"

"Aaj kounsa test hai?"

"Oye Sanjiv kaha hai......uska roll number mere baad hai.......wo nahi
 aaya to mein pakka fail...."

After test......

"yaar pada tha....recall nahi kar paya.......chhod na .......
 Canteenchalega..." SAHI !!

5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye
 bahane)

"I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya"

"Oye usko thoda khus h kar list se tera naam hata dega........"

"Bola tha proxy regularly maar....... Saale tera class karne ka kya
 faida hua....."

6. Late submission of assignments

"Maine u s ko bola thaa ki copy karke me

Am I really good at ‘it’??

“I dont think you are an expert”- confident,its unusual,Chandan said.

I paused for a moment and replied defensively-”well! one failure and you cant undermine for that.” I said that and my mind suddenly slipped into some reflection.

Am I really good at holding relationships. Am I at-all good at relationships. I never realized even Chandan can make me feel low over the subject. Well, given the circumstances I shouldn’t mind it much and offcourse if I say I am good at impressing girls and make them admit it before me, proud it might look but certainly not overconfidence.

But think Gaurav again fully to this whole relationship thingy with women. Women, they are like universal phenomenas,If you look at them profoundly all converging to same ubiquitous state of mind finally but surfacially they seem to folllow different equations and driven by different forces like physics seems to driven by  gravity, EMI, N forces. They are like perfect example of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principal at small level. But macroscopically they are all the same. They want to be appreciated for their physical attractiveness, they want their boys to say it again and again that they are the most beautiful on the earth no matter if their boyfriend feel gum on their tongues to say the pathetically horrible lie. All women fancy biggies. Who cares about science’s vague sympathetic  arguments in favor of “Tiny’s” afterall science is a biggest victim of weakest sex ratio.

All of them want their guys to say it on his knees. They want guys on their knees, forget about the romance of words. Guys !They don’t hear what romantic parodies you chant for her during those moments, they look at your knees folded in front of her as if saying-” yes we are crippled and at your mercy my lord”. I don’t know why,we, men desire so much to fall ourselves in the HOLE.

anyways I was thinking about myself. I am handsome, smart, devil and a MAN. Nearly perfect to get a catch of woman’s eye at first sight. But can I really sustain a relationship longer with a girl.You know, I mean each time I have a go with a new girl, after initial attraction of her towards me, my devil comes out.

” Gaurav , call me yar tomorrow.”

“k.”

and next day I will be struggling with my ego to dial her numbers and finally ramming my mobile to my drawer unless the girl calls me ..’if she calls’. Now if she calls instead of me calling, I hate to hear the first most obvious sentence from a ‘holy’ mouth. ” aur batao kya chal raha hai ” When a boy is talking to a girl hot what else can it be…SEX, SEX, bloody SEX.

But I resist to say such a daring thing in Indian context. Afterall very few watch coupling in India. “Nothing”  safe but not an interesting reply. ” So what do you do” ..

“Nothing” ..my mind keep screaming ..’ cant you ask about more uncertain things like when are we having a date”

” You must be a student” …bloody hell!! what else you expect from a 19 years old Indian guy.

“So what are your hobbies?”

<Sex, girls, boobs, Bjs, arses (thanks!! you Bloody British Bibra), gussets, blondes> ” eh..cricket, movies, tennis, cycling, travelling, bikes”

“wow. I like it. Quite an active boy you are!”

Bloody hell!! no Bloody arse!! < you have no clue baby>

” so what else is new?”

and my patience wears out.

“do you have a boyfriend?”

without waiting for her reply I would choose covers .

” I mean you know may be some history…generally asking if you dont mind.”

” Oh no I hate such idiotic things like bf-gfs. I dont believe in it . Do ya?”

Hell! ..if you are not interested than why the hell on a dating site and why interest in my history.

” oh! ok. But why are you so averse  of …you know bf-gf thing. I mean ..”

” Oh I am not against love marriage..If I find a right guy I would certainly be with him”

finally she is coming on line..

” would you mind if I give it a try. since you said you liked me and  liked you too. “

” Oh no honey. Don’t even think about that.  We are just friends. I mean you are nice guy but ..by the way are you virgin”?

Do you have to confirm the virginity of the guy whom you just consider friends??

“off course. I am . what do you think. I am purely virgin”

“(chucles) thats funny. What do you mean by pure virgin. Virgin means virgin. Whats a pure and impure virgin.”

” I mean no girl ever kissed me yet, not even cheeks. “

( TO BE CONTD….)